


enchanted

by Krashlynaf



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:40:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4509939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krashlynaf/pseuds/Krashlynaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when i first saw her, i knew this would happen. its not anything we did... or said. it was every feeling she gave me. i experienced a whole new world when i was with her. how could this happen? how could i let it come this far? but the thing is, i will never know this feeling again, and i'm not sure if i should feel this way again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. is there somewhere

 

“ _But your lips hang heavy underneath me._  
_And I promised myself I wouldn't let you complete me._

_I'm sorry but I fell in love tonight._ _I didn't mean to fall in love tonight._

_I'm trying not to let it show, that I don't want to let this go._  
_**Is there somewhere** you can meet me?"_

_______________________________________

 

_Ashlyn: Training Camp, March 2011._

 

_She was fierce. She was strong. She played with a passion that everyone wanted. When you saw her on the field you could not take her eyes off of her. I eventually found out the team called her the “Princess Warrior.” Everyday we trained those few weeks, I saw that warrior in her. Off the field, she was most definitely a princess. Although we just met, something about her intrigued me. I couldn’t figure it out. She was just a teammate, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off her._

_Stop it Ashlyn. She is your teammate, you can’t have this happen again. I tried to figure out what exactly that made me want her so desperately. I wasn’t sure if it was her bubbly personality or the cute was she mumbles after this finishes a sentence. Or was it the fact that she could walk a runway and everyone would be convinced she actually was a model. I tried to shake her out of my head but I couldn’t. She stayed. I needed to figure out this unknown feeling._

 

_______________________________________

 

_“Ash! Let’s go! These drinks won’t drink themselves!”  Of course, it was Pinoe and Tobin downing drinks at the bar. It was the last night of training camp, and since we would all go back home tomorrow it was a chance for all of us to get out of the hotel and enjoy ourselves._

_I still felt very new to the team. I had my close friends that I roomed with on the team and even after playing and being around the bubble, I still felt like I did not fit in. The alcohol that was flowing through my system shifted that feeling. I was talking to everyone like I knew them for years. It felt good, this was the way it was supposed to be. The team was dressed to the nines, they wanted to celebrate our last night together, with everyone before the roster was released. I had my black AllSaints on with a pair of black ripped jeans that fit my body like a glove. Under my black blazer there was a light grey t-shirt that snugged my chest. Alex of course looked stunning in her tight red dress with her suede black heels on and a gold chain around her neck. No matter where she went guys flew to her the instant they saw her. Pinoe, like I, had a black blazer on with the most obnoxious pink undershirt on. I laughed. Of course Pinoe had that on.  I scanned our whole team. Comparing just those two, it showed all of our different personalities which I loved. But there was someone on the dance floor I couldn’t take my eyes off of. Ali Krieger. Her dark brown hair dangled across the back of her completely open, skin tight dress. She moved in a way that no one there did, she stood out to every one in that club, and she knew it. She used her looks and her smooth talking to her advantage. She had everyone surrounding her and she knew it. She fed off that. Once again, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. Drink in one hand and her hang draped around a man who was slightly taller than her, wearing a dark blue polo and jeans, neck. He mad me mad. He did not deserve to be dancing with her. But who am I to get mad over that? I barely know the girl, and besides she barely knows me. But I was still aggravated. It pissed me off I got mad over Krieger. Who was she to me? I got over all my exes in minutes yet there she was. Controlling me._

_I was trying to forget Ali and started to enjoy the night. I got to spend quality time with my friends, before it could potentially be ended when the team released the roster on who would be going to the World Cup. I scanned the dance floor seeing half the team enjoy themselves dancing and the rest throwing back shots. Of course I was at the bar. The hot bartender offered me a few drinks and I could not refuse. She hung around me and if I did more convincing I could probably take her home. But I wasn't focused on her tonight, some else had my attention._

_By now, Pinoe has shoved at least 6 shots down the back of my throat and the alcohol has completely taken charge of me. I’m not a dancer but the vodka told me I am. I made my way to the floor, at this point the whole team was there, scattered around, some dancing on each other and others like Tobin and Kelley making the moves up on their own. I felt a tug on my sleeve and darted my way towards whoever it was. I know I had the looks to grab any females attention and the way of my words I could take anyone home, but I swear I didn’t talk to that many girls tonight to get them to actually dance with me. But it wasn’t a random girl. There she was, Ali Krieger, pulling my hand towards her._

_“Hey Ali! What’s up?” Fuck! Ashlyn, did you really just say what’s up to her?! Here is your chance to finally talk to her and you say what’s up. Ali smiled back at you, she grabbed your neck and pulled your ear close to her mouth. Her lips just an inch away form your ear, her breath just trickling down your spine. She opened her mouth to speak,_

_“Come dance! The bar has no dance floor, let’s get moving!”_

_And this is how the night started._

_I told her I wasn’t any good at dancing and all she said back was she would show me the ropes. At this point I was completely wasted and decided to just go with it. The worst that will happen is that the hangover is so bad tomorrow that I will completely forget everything that happened. And I guess that is not a bad thing with the rate this night is going. Ali took me by my hand for every dance. She was on me dancing just like I would convince any girl in the past. Hmm. Maybe this was easier than I thought. Pinoe saw how Ali was dancing on me and gave me I look. I smirked back at her. My confidence busted out of my body. I forgot about the whole teammates part of this night and decided to go to the sleep with 3 different people a week Ashlyn._

_Just like any other girl, I would ask her for more. Usually with Ali I would think about 45 different ways to say something before finally saying it. But tonight I had confidence. Tonight I wanted her. She never showed interest in any other woman from what I heard on the team, and she recently broke up with her boyfriend. It was the perfect time. Ali was grinding on me, her hands behind my legs. I never thought I could be so vulnerable to a woman before. The music was pounding in my head, the alcohol was really getting to me. The dizziness and the blur of everything was starting to kick in. But no matter what, I was focused on Ali._ _I grabbed her neck and tried to talk above the music, I wanted to ask her for more. I wanted to figure her out tonight. I wanted her._

_“Is that all you got, Princess? I think I may need to find another girl tonight to be with” Did I really just say that? Did I really just call her Princess?_

_“Princess? Mhm, nothing like being called princess and being treated like one.” Treated like one? What game was Ali Krieger trying to play on me? She was now on focused on me. The guys that were with her drifted away and it felt like it was just Ali and I in that club. Not surrounded by hundreds of other people. She had a way with messing with my emotions and feelings that I couldn't explain. She was almost like a stranger to me but yet she had complete control over me._

_"Is there somewhere you can take me?" She wanted me back. Although it could be the past few drinks admitting that, she said it and I was going to take full advantage of that._

_I’m not sure what happened but I grabbed her wrist and took her to the back of the club. This was my time to figure out if she wanted me back. She was flirting all night with me. She danced on me like she had never danced with someone before. It was brisk out, when we spoke you could see the hot air coming out of our breath._

_“You want to be treated like a Princess huh? I think I can show you a few ways.”_ _My heart was pounding out of my chest. I stepped a foot closer to her. She didn’t step back. My hands were shaking as I slowly put them on her hips. Again, she didn’t refuse anything. I had to say something again, she just stood there licking her lips staring right back at mine. I didn’t make any eye contact with her._

_“There’s something you have to know Princess, I have to treat all my girls like royalty.. but maybe for you it’ll be different.” I heard her sweet laugh giggle after that. Confidence was key with her. She loved it. She loved hearing that someone wanted her so badly and I think she could tell by my body language I wanted her. In so many ways I could not describe._

_“Show me.” She said flatly. I stared into her eyes then back down at her lips. It was the right moment. The right time. And just like that I grabbed a fistful of her hair, I backed her to the wall and grabbed her arm and put it above her head. I slammed my lips onto hers, the taste of vodka was on her lips. Before I knew it, her tongue was in my mouth, exploring every part of it. Her lips were soft and warm besides the alcohol factor. I finally understood why I was craving her for so long. I let my hands run up and down her back as she took a fistful of my shirt with her. She knew how to take complete control of me and that never happens. I slid my hand to her face and before I knew it our lips parted. A sudden stop. She looked at me with worry with those big beautiful brown eyes. Something was wrong, every part of her body told me something was wrong. She escaped from the wall and now there was a foot in between us._

_“A-Ashlyn… t-this can’t happen….I’m… I’m so sorry.” She said with tears streaming down her eyes._

_“What do you mean? It was just a kiss!” Trying to convince myself it was just a kiss..I knew this took a sharp turn in the complete wrong direction than the way I wanted it too. I could tell by her face she was regretting everything she just did._

_“No, just.. no. I’m so sorry.” And before I knew it she darted away. She was walking as fast as she could in a dress that was riding up and her heels clicking away. I was left outside of the club standing there devastated and heartbroken. That was the last time I saw Ali Krieger face to face._


	2. thinking about you

 

_“In a moment, I know that everything could change and I know that my life would never be the same. You're the only one that's making sense to me. When I close my eyes, you're the one, I see._

_I'll be thinking about you.”_

_______________________________________

_Ali: Training Camp, March 2011_

_I stared at the white nike soccer ball that was placed right before my feet. My whole team was watching me. My coaches were watching me. My spot on the National Team was lingering in the back of my mind. One last penalty kick then training camp is officially over. That is, if I made this. If I don’t, well the team would have to continue our day with running. I lived for this pressure though, I wanted to have the team’s future in my own hands so I lined up to take the kick. I did not move my hips once and just gently tapped the ball all the way to the far left corner. Hope misread me and jumped right. Shoowsh. I heard cheers in hollers in the background but I just stood there smiling. Something made me feel like that PK helped me confirm my spot on the national team. I turned back around to see my team forming a huddle, I ran put to join them. I took in the moment, because in a few days this moment may never come back._

_Everything started to feel right for once. My brother was finally collecting himself again, my family was on good terms and I felt like I was playing the best soccer of my life. Except her. She was making me question myself once again. I heard about her once or twice, played against her a few times and she caught my eye. I broke up with Peter a few weeks back and he quickly left my mind once training started up. But she filled every piece of my mind since I had to be with her constantly.. I tried to talk to Kyle about it, and he said to just follow my heart. But what if I had to be a professional here? I couldn’t risk putting the team in jeopardy all because of a girl I barely knew. I’ll get her out of my mind once camp is over I thought._

 

_______________________________________

 

_I slipped on my black dress with a completely open back. It was skin tight, ending right above my knees. If I had to forget about her tonight, I could find a man to do that and this dress would help. My three inch heels made my legs look flawless and I smiled back at my reflection in the mirror. Tonight was gonna be good. How fun if I could make her… I stopped myself from any further thoughts. No Ali. You can’t play games with a teammate, not these mind games._

_I was in my room with my roommate Alex, younger than me, but that youth provided us an extra good time. She made me a drink before we hit the road to start the night. Alex was a beautiful girl, she was all the hype around the National Team too. She caught every coaches eye with the style of her play and her goal scoring ability. Not only was she a great player, but a bad influence when it came to going out. No matter how much you have drank, she always made you drink even more. She was young and crazy. I liked that about her. She taught me how to let loose a bit and not be so stressed out about the national team. My mind wandered most of the time while we got ready, towards the blonde that took over my mind. Ashlyn. Ashlyn Harris. I heard a lot about her but never got a chance to know her. Tobin and Pinoe were always around her and they said she was a wild child. They also said she has gotten with half of America. But who wouldn’t wanna get with someone that her looks? Her blonde hair fell from her head perfectly, her smile was flawless and she played like a superstar. She had captivated me and I was dying to figure out why._

_“Ali! What are you doing? I know you look good but you have been staring in that mirror in a daze for five minutes now! Alex chirped at me. I sighed. Alright Ali, time to find another man to take control tonight._

_“Haha, you’re right, well let’s get a move on, these legs can’t dance with out music!” I knew that the team would be meeting us down in the lobby so we quickly grabbed our clutches and nearly skipped out of the hotel room. Training camp required a full nights rest, then a full day of working out, then trying to recover for weeks straight. Finally it was the night to go out and enjoy the team with some liquid therapy. The elevator opened and there was the team waiting for us._

_“Well maybe if you guys didn’t try and look so good we wouldn’t of been waiting for 15 minutes here!” Oh Pinoe. Always had to be the sarcastic one. We had two small SUV’s taking us to a nearby club tonight. There was even more champagne in the car’s and of course we all took some._

_“To training camp finally being over!!” We all said in sync as we clinked our glasses together. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ashlyn. She was in my car, sitting between Tobin and Pinoe. They always did say it took her some alcohol to get a bit out of her shell. Maybe tonight Pinoe would try and force her to drink like she always does. She looked good tonight, she had on these tight black jeans and a black blazer. I liked that look and she most definitely rocked it. I sat in the car with the team talking loudly in the background, I tried to figure out if this was a path I would ever want to go down. Yeah, I’ve hooked up with girls while I was drunk, but I never have been this attracted to a woman before. It made me feel something I never have before. I wanted to dig deeper into my issue, but I knew I couldn’t let myself ruin this for the team._

_We hoped out of the car and you could hear the music blasting from the door. I smiled. Nothing was like being with my girls and dancing the night away. We dashed to the bar and quickly took a few shots. I knew I was going to go straight to the dance floor after that. I felt the numbness in my lips and my world felt fuzzy. I missed this feeling since I have not been out in quite some time. I saw a tall, dark haired man making my way towards me. Fresh bait I thought._

_“Hey” Was all he said in a deep voice as he grabbed my hips. He knew how to move, I’ll tell you that. But no matter how good he moved I still kept peeking back at the bar. There was a few girls from the team there, and also Ashlyn. She looked like she was trying to get it on with the bartender. That pissed me off. How could she want to go be with the bartender when we were all together? Or even worse I was here? Again, I crossed the line. She is a stranger to me, I have to stop getting worked up about her! I tried to focus on the man I had in the palm of my hands. His name was Mark. He dressed well and was a decent dancer so I decided to give him my attention. I pulled the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to me. I pecked him on his lips and the facial expression after that was like he had never kissed a girl before. He grabbed my waist and pulled me in for more. I let him do his thing for a few minutes before I had enough. I needed more alcohol in my system and I had to let him go for a bit. I told him I would be back._

_I walked over to the bar where Alex already had a drink lining up for me. I took a sip and quickly made a disgusted look on my face._

_“God Alex!!! What is this?!” The taste of alcohol soared in whatever I just drank._

_“Oh, I knew you haven’t drank so much so I decided to let the bartender know to make you the strongest drink she could.”_

_“Jesus. I think you’re trying to kill me here…. but thanks.” And I downed the drink, even though it tasted like the worst cough medicine I could imagine, mixed with the smell of wet dog. I didn’t know what I just drank but I hoped it would kick in soon. Mark started to follow me around. I guess I let him get too far. I quickly scattered the bar. There she was, the perfect escape route from Mark but I would get exactly what I wanted._

_I walked over to her and grabbed her hand. I must of startled her a bit because she jumped a bit and stared at me like I had three heads. “Come dance! The bar has no dance floor, let’s get moving!” All she could do was nod and say she didn’t know how to dance. I didn’t believe that. I know for a fact I could show her the ropes. I brought her to the center of the floor, surrounded by sweaty people and dancing bodies. It made an excuse to get even closer to her. Whatever Alex gave me to drank, it clearly sank in. At this point the alcohol was flooding through my body and catching up to my head. I didn’t see anything but Ashlyn’s face. I knew how to dance, and I knew how to make her want me back. I kept my hands behind her and made sure that we were close enough that even a paper clip could not come in between us. She grabbed my neck and pulled me close and started to speak in my ear,_

_“Is that all you got, Princess? I think I may need to find another girl tonight to be with” Really? I knew she was starting to play my game back with me. Not once in my life did anyone ever think about stopping with me. I knew now that she wanted to play this game too. And this would be one I could win._

_“Princess? Mhm, nothing like being called princess and being treated like one.” I whispered back in her ear. My response shocked her. Most girls come crawling to her but I knew that I was different. I wouldn’t go home with her, one because of the team, and two because I deserved better than that. I wanted to confess that I was in craze for her, thinking about you, and trying to figure you out. But I stopped myself. All I could say was,_

_"Is there somewhere you can take me?" And her eyes lit up. She grabbed my hand and quickly escorted me to the back of the club. Outside it was cold, and she held me tighter. I couldn’t think straight, let alone see straight. All I know is here I was nearly face to face with this girl I could not get off my mind._

_“You want to be treated like a Princess huh? I think I can show you a few ways.” I knew this was bad. I stared at her for a few seconds. I didn't wanna say anything back, I wanted to go back inside, I didn’t want to cause trouble but the alcohol in me made me say something._

_“Show me.” I said with no tone in my voice. I blurted it out and before I knew it she pushed my against the wall and her lips crashed into mine. They were soft and warm even though the cold air was hitting them. She kissed me like she meant it, she put purpose into the kiss. I kissed her back, I wanted to go for more and she let me. I grabbed her shirt, I didn’t want to let her go. I finally figured it out what it was about her, when we touched it was like two worlds collided. I thought about how long I was thinking about her at camp…camp. Oh my god. The team. I can’t do this. She grabbed my face and I backed away. Our lips parted and I could feel my eyes swelling. I made sure I backed up far enough that she couldn't grab me again, because I would give in to her._

_“A-Ashlyn… t-this can’t happen….I’m… I’m so sorry.” I tried to speak, stumbling on each word, barely believing what I just did. I couldn't be with Ashlyn, not with my world finally starting to come together._

_“What do you mean? It was just a kiss!” Liar! With how that went, I know she wanted me back. I couldn't do this and I can’t let the team down like this. Ashlyn wasn’t for me and I knew that. I knew I had to get over her._

_“No, just.. no. I’m so sorry.” I said and I quickly darted away. I needed to find a cab, I needed to get back to the hotel and sleep and never wake up. I needed to leave and go back home. I needed to never see Ashlyn Harris again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2! let me know what you think about the different POV, i'm not sure if im gonna do it every other chapter or what. chapter three will either be up tonight or tomorrow morning. enjoy and thank you for reading!!!  
> xo


	3. where'd you go?

_"Where'd you go?_  
_I miss you so, s_ _eems like it's been forever since_ _you've been gone."_

_______________________________________

I was on a plane heading to Germany. I didn’t think this would happen but after the folding of the WPS, I believed it was the only choice. I sat there on the aisle seat trying to avoid the annoying couple next to me. I was never a fan of PDA. To distract me, I tried to think of everything that happened over the last two years. I didn’t get picked for the National Team that ending up losing the World Cup. I didn’t get picked for the Olympic team, or even got a chance to try and compete for a spot. Before the WPS folded, we won a championship. I already tried going to Germany for Duisburg, but once again that did not work out. So here I am, making my second trip across the sea going to meet up with some other U.S. players who decided to play for a German team. 

The remaining players for my new team was not announced, and the coaches put together groups of roommates to live in the apartments near the field. I was nervous. My last time around foreigners did not go as planned and also learning the language seemed basically impossible and even a few months of trying barely let me pass by in Germany. Everything about this way of life confused me, but maybe because I was not in a healthy state of mind then. Now, my brother is doing better than ever and I am focused on the next World Cup to secure a spot on the team. Now it’s a clean state with a brand new team. It’s time to put myself on lockdown and focus just on soccer.

______________________________________

I landed in the nearby airport and was picked up by a driver who was driving me straight to the field and complex where we would be training. Dear lord, the pressure and energy of German football was already hitting me. I wasn’t even here for an hour yet. After 40 minutes of driving we pulled up to a large soccer complex. Three fields, and 2 beautiful, brand new looking buildings. Once again, I was escorted inside. I felt like royalty here.

 

“Ashlyn? Hello! I’m Tobias and I will be working with your training today. Welcome to the team. I’ll show you around the faculties.” He was a short man, with dirty blonde hair and these big beautiful eyes that took up half his height. He looked fit as hell though, every muscle in his body was toned and he looked like he could bench my weight plus some. His calves looked like they were made of steel and he walked everywhere with a purpose. He was wearing a Germany staff shirt so I figured he must fit in with everyone else considering his heavy accent that made his english nearly impossible to understand.

“Hi! Ashlyn, as you know. Sounds good to me.” He lead me through the training room, the weight room and even to the pool. It was nice, I must admit. Every machine I would ever need, any weight and any help I would need to make myself better would be right here in front of me. I figured I would get some pretty awesome workouts here everyday considering the amount of trainers they had. One for everything you needed. Leg day? You got it, and you got about 20 machines that can help you out. Core? Ab workouts on the wall that never stopped. Maybe this change would be nice.

 “Now here is the athletic room. You can get all your tape here, wraps, ice anything you want.” Tobias said as he showed me all the different areas of this room. I’ve never seen so many different tapes in my life. I was going to have so much fun wrapping my hands before each game. Tobias hung around the door for me. I knew it was time to start, I was just afraid on how badly he would whip my ass back into shape.

“Are you ready to start your training right now? It’s just gonna be a light lifting session then we will do a quick swim workout.”

“I guess. Beware, I haven’t been on my A-game around weights recently…” I tried to warn him to take it easy on me. 

______________________________________

Sweat was pouring off my forehead onto the floor. Drip by drip. I heard Tobias behind me screaming for me to do one more rep. The weights were getting heavier by the second, my arms were shaking. I never thought squats could be so hard. Until Tobias made me do about 10 different kinds of squats. I did my one last rep, after 3 rounds of 5 different exercises I finally completed my first lifting session. Easy? Dear lord, if Tobias thought that was easy then I’m packing my bags because I never want to know what a hard full body workout is. At least my legs would be in tip top shape. I was not looking forward to the pain I would face tomorrow. 

“You know what Ash, we worked well today. And since you just got here this morning, we will skip the pool workouts. The locker room is right behind the training room to shower up, clothes are in there too. I hope you don’t mind being decked out in the team's colors.” I laughed. I already knew I was starting to like Tobias. He didn’t take any shit from me, no matter how hard I wanted to give up. He was a good trainer and made this place feel like home.

“Also Ashlyn, tomorrow we will be going into full gear. Games start soon, and we have a championship to win. I hope you’re ready.”

“Ready as always, Tobias! Thanks for today. I had fun, I can’t wait until tomorrow.” I may have lied about the can’t wait until tomorrow, but I did have fun with him today.  I walked towards the locker room and it was red and yellow. Of course. Classic Germany colors. The tile floors looked newly redone and I had my own locker that was nearly three times the size of me. The treatment here was exceptional and I was starting to feel like I picked the right place to play..Tobias wasn’t lying about being decked out in the teams gear. A robe, with my last name stitched on the back was there, in German colors. Shorts, shirts, and socks were also there, all decorated with the team stuff. Oh well, at least I can look good in anything. 

I heard the shower running in one of the stalls, so I figured it was just one of the female trainers who occupied the weight room with me before. She was kind of hot. Maybe I could try her for a spin one night, but I guess I should get to know her first. I took off my sweat sports bra, pulled down my shorts and slipped into my robe. It was soft, and had the nice towel material I loved, not like the other gross fluffy robes that just got stuck to you. Just as I was tying it together the door from the showers opened. I know I just met the female trainer who caught my eye, but seeing me naked already? That usually happens the second night. I didn't care to turn around to look at her. I wasn't good in awkward situations like this, I usually am always shy, unless I am under the influence of alcohol of course.

“Uhm, Hi.” I was facing my locker, not looking at the voice who just spoke to me, but I know it wasn’t the trainer I just met. I know that voice. I can tell who’s voice that is from miles away. The sweet sound of her never left my mind and I finally heard it. I whipped my head around and there she was. In a red towel, her brown hair dripping to the side. She looked good. She just came back from an ACL tear, and what I heard she was doing rehab in Germany, but I thought she was long gone and back in America here. I stared at her, she did not deserve any right to speak to me. She left that night in training camp and never responded to me ever again. She did not deserve one piece of me. All I could do was feel the burning sensation in my body reach to my head. I have never felt this angry before.

“Ashlyn? Are you going to say anything?” She stared at me after, with a blank expression. I just stared back. I felt violated here now, I felt naked, like all my skin was being ripped off. 

“Where’d you go that night Ali? Did you escape to Germany and never expect to see me again? Well, here I am. What the hell are you doing here?”  I didn’t want to hear a response. I hated her with a burning passion, I thought I got rid of her but here she is. I rushed passed her, brushing her shoulder almost knocking her down, and quickly slammed the door into the showering rooms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now i'm not sure what to do for the next chapter yet... if it should be in ali's POV or ash. sorry this one was a quick one but i hope you like it! tomorrow should be the next one!
> 
> thanks for reading and let me know what you think!
> 
> xo


	4. lost in my mind

 

" _Momma once told me,_

 _you're already home where you feel love._  
_I am **lost in my mind**_ "

_______________________________________

 

Everyone said I needed to find myself after my injury and rehabilitation, so I came back to where my roots were, in Germany. I was devastated, tearing everything in my knee right before the Olympics. I tried to make it back in time, but I couldn’t. I sat and moped around in that states, dragging myself through rehab. Everyone knew I was miserable. Seeing my team play without me hurt more than knives going through my heart. The team, my family and even myself couldn’t take it so I escaped, I went to Germany. I decided to play with a new team here where I would be surrounded by players that were all on their national team. I figured it would be the best option.

 

Although I missed home, I was starting to find myself. I starting appreciating my life and my job more. Actually, I used to call it my job, now it’s my passion, it’s what fuels me. Everyday I get to wake up and do what I love. I realized this after sitting out for over 6 months. I’m thankful for my injury now, I believe it made me work harder. I’m thankful for Germany. 

 

_______________________________________

 

I woke up from the loud beeping of my alarm. Even though it was 9am, I was still tired compared to my usual wake up call at 6am. I usually don’t go out on weekdays, but I was convinced by some of my teammates to go out. I haven’t gotten much action, or even gave anyone my time of day. I had my hook ups now and then, but for some reason whenever I closed my lips with someone else, I saw Ashlyn. I didn’t see the person before me. I hated it. I haven’t spoken to her since because I was so afraid of trying to speak to her… But then again. That would soon change. I knew she was coming to the team soon, I just didn’t know what day. I was thinking that I could have my great escape by the time she came. 

I was lost in my mind thinking about her, so I shook Ashlyn and what happened a few years ago out of my mind. It’s been a long time. Time to forget that one kiss. I made myself a nice cup of coffee to go, added my two spoonfuls of milk and sugar and headed out to training. I popped the keys into my car, started and headed out. The team gave me an awesome apartment, which was near the faculties which was very helpful, especially when I first got here and did not know where to go. 

I parked my car in the spot where the sign said “Ali Krieger #11” and smiled. I loved how the Germans did the little things to make me happy here. Even with training, but every day here was a battle, no matter what we did, it was always tougher than the day before when we trained. That’s what I loved about Germany, the trainers, coaches, and my teammates were trying to make me better because they individually cared for me. 

 My first stop on training days was to the locker room. My oversized locker was filled with all the clothes I would be wearing that day, and all the shower gear I needed. I quickly slipped on the tank I was provided and my soccer shorts and went out.

 

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“Ali, come on, I know you hate lifting but I promise it will make your arms look great!” Lucas was drilling me today. He was my strength and speed trainer, and he saw how much I loved our speed training.. but lifting not so much.

"I know I know.. just three more reps!!" I squeaked. Not only was lifting not my thing, but doing a bench press was not my thing. I pushed through although how wobbly my arms were. The weights back to my chest... then up.. back down.. then up. The last rep, I held the bar and weights above my head and slowly pushed them down then back up. DONE! I quickly rested the bar back up and smiled. Thank god. 

"Atta girl Ali! Now.. lets get to the ropes." I rolled my eyes. Three sets of 45 seconds on the ropes. Slamming them back up and back down. I would basically be barely breathing after this. Sweat was dripping off of me and onto the ground as I was slamming the ropes up and down. The only good thing is that my arms were so worked up, I could not feel them. My last set was the hardest. I felt like I was doing them for 45 minutes instead of 45 seconds. Finally, Lucas told me time was done.

"Alright Ali, lifting is done today. I have to say though, your improvement has really impressed me. I'm really proud of you Al." Lucas proudly said. I felt better knowing he saw a difference in me.

"Thanks tough guy... you killed me today. But thank you. Always trying to make me better!" Although it did not seem like it, I really was appreciative of Lucas and everything he has done for me the past few months. He was not only my trainer, but he also was my moral supporter, and a helping voice whenever I needed one.

"I'm heading to the showers. I'll see you tomorrow for what will be another killer day, thanks Luc!"

"Any time Ali!"

Back into the locker room I went, where I found my customized robe hanging outside the door of my locker. I giggled to myself. I can't believe this team actually got me my own personalized robe. I had to shower quickly because I knew I had to be meeting Victoria, an old teammate that used to play who would be in town, at our favorite bakery. I smiled thinking about all the amazing pastries that I would eat soon. At least my workout tomorrow would kill all the calories I would eat. Quickly I washed my hair and soaped my body. I threw my hair up in the towel and placed my robe on and walked out. I opened the door back into the locker room and I saw I was then with someone. No.. wait. This wasn't just anyone. The tattoos.. the hair.. the body... It was Ashlyn. She was finally here. Although I knew I would see her, I didn't think I would see her when we were both naked. I was nervous and before I knew it something came out of my mouth,

“Uhm, Hi.” Oh my! I gasped after speaking, shocked at that I even had the nerve to talk to her. She shot up from facing the other way, seeming nervous that someone was in the same room with her as she basically had no clothes on. And thats when it happened. She saw it was me, Ali Krieger, the girl she secretly crushed on during training camp in 2011 and stared at me. Those big eyes, drove daggers into my soul. She continued to stare at me, and I continued to get nervous. The sweat still tricked off her body.

“Ashlyn? Are you going to say anything?” I had to say something else. I don't get why she would act like this.. it was once kiss. Move on, Ashlyn. You can't stay mad at a teammate. Finally her lips parted. She stood there for a second to think about what she was going to say.

“Where’d you go that night Ali? Did you escape to Germany and never expect to see me again? Well, here I am. What the hell are you doing here?” Was all she could say. She quickly walked past me, knocking into my shoulder and nearly tumbling me down. I stood there without turning around. Thinking about how someone could have the nerve to say that to me. This was my territory, my team and my country. Who did she think she was coming at me like that?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off, i want to say i am SUPER SORRY for not getting a new chapter up... i just moved into college today and was traveling this past week. im also going through recruitment week right now so i may be super busy.. i promise to do better updating though.  
> also, for this story i decided something. if you want to read ashyln's POV, only read odd chapters. if you want to read ali's POV of the story, do the even chapters. the story will make sense if you only do one, but i think it's more fun to do both :)  
> let me know what you think and i promise another chapter sooner!


	5. ghost

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_ "I'm searching for something that I can't reach." _

 

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The months after the day I kissed Ali all ended the same way when the clock reach midnight. I would be out sucking a girl into my words and I would later sleep with her. It was a nice recovery phase, I got my anger out on sleeping with those women, I did what I wanted to do with the one girl who stole my heart in a matter of moments, to replacements. I slept, I woke up, either ate my feelings away or trained them away, and then went out. I looked hot as hell, I wore the same kind of outfit that attracted the women I wanted, a light loose cut off that exposed the sleeve, and usually dark grey or black pants. Anyone I got interested to always said they liked the black pants on me… but I knew I looked good in anything.

 

Then came the moments when I wasn’t in the phase anymore. 6 months had passed and it was back to reality. Back to being on the cusp of the player pool for the national team. Back to work. I took everything out on training, from 5am, to 9pm. It was training non stop. Whit started to worry, she thought I want it too badly, and did not want me to get heartbroken just incase anything happened that was not positive results. But turns out, I already had a broken heart. From a girl I barely knew.

 

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Fuck. Two years. I went nearly two years without seeing her. And now here I am, separated by a wall and a face full of tears from a girl who screwed me over. I mean, I knew I would see her around, I just had to prepare for it. But I didn’t know she decided to come out for this team too. It was a new team.. it just opened up. Why would she pick to come here out of everywhere else? The shower was burning my back, not as badly as the tears were burning my face, but I stood here for minutes getting hit with every emotion I held in for two years.

Standing there, I decided I actually had to shower and well, I only poured out half the bottle of shampoo I squeezed it so hard. I quickly washed up, although I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be in a rush. Did I want to see Ali? Did she leave already? What would she ever say to me? Would she slap me for being a dick? So many questions that her and I both knew had to be answered. And I wanted to know what she even tried to attempt by kissing me. She knew I was into girls. What the hell was she thinking.

The whole lather rinse repeat thing was really getting put into place right now. I think I washed myself at least 5 times before I realized I may be using up all the hot water. I knew it was time to go. It had to be at least 30 minutes in the shower and I bet she had to leave by now. It’s not like she did ever really care. It was a drunk hookup, and I’m sure she was with someone new with how beautiful she was.

I turned the shower off and let the steam come fill my face. I grabbed my towel and my robe and decided to attempt to go into the locker room. I couldn't leave the facility naked the first day, I was trying to stay sane as long as possible here. But I wasn't sure how that would last. I walked in and there she was. Talking to a man I also knew. Great. Dear lord please keep talking so I can ignore both of you.

 

"Ashlyn! I'm glad you could make it out of the shower! You were in there for a long time. I want you to mee-, actually, do you guys know each other? Ali Krieger, Ashlyn Harris?" Oh no. Of course he wants to talk to me. 

"Yeah Tobias, we've had some camps with one another and got to know each other a bit." Ali said flatly. Got to know each other a bit? My tongue was in your mouth. 

"Uhm well okay, have you guys planned out the next week schedule?" Tobias asked as if he knew what we were talking about.

"What schedule? Why would we do it together? And why would I want to work with her?" Tobias and Ali quickly gave me a look of shock, like I was a ghost or something. Yes Tobias, I do not want to work with her and I hope that showed.

"Ash? You didn't know this? I figured for the first month of training you guys are training partners. Lifting, recovery, oh and roommates." Tobias seemed so happy yo think that we would love being with americans. No. Not with her. Training partners?! And roommates?! For the first month?? I could not do this. And all Ali Krieger could do was stare and smile at me. Did she plan this? Oh my god. My world was spinning I felt like I could not stand straight. This could not be happening. All I wanted was a fresh start in a brand new country, and here she was in the same damn country as I was!

"Wait, with her? Ali and I? Doing everything together? And you didn't even know if we were friends?" I tried to speak in a calm tone, but it just was not possible today.

"Ashlyn, you have been through this before, don't you know how it works, are you okay? Did that long shower take a toll on you?"

"No Tobias.. I'm not okay. I think I need a sit down or something. Maybe it was the hot water that got to me or some girl I used to know." I couldn't take this. I had to do everything with Ali. Krieger. I had to sit down. 

"Uh... okay Ash. Anyway, Ali, sit here and make sure she's alright. Ali, you are in charge of the apartment keys. I'll see you both tomorrow."

"Okay Tobias... I'll try? Thanks. See you tomorrow." Ali slipped away as Tobias tried to move as quickly as possible out of this awkward room. Ali sat right across from me and crossed her leg and leaned on her hand and just sat there.

I stared blankly at her. She stared blankly back at me. I couldn't manage to say any words with her right now that could make sense and could determine what point we were at with out friendship/enemy relationship. In her eyes, her face, her body language, I could tell she was trying to relive everything that she went through with me.. trying to figure me out. I went through so much all because of this beautiful girl and she had no idea. But I couldn't let her know that now. Not here. Not right away. I had too many emotions that I would lash out on her. I needed to make a great escape and it had to be quick.

"Well. I'm going home. To my room." I spat out and pulled on my shoes, grabbed my keys and left. It was only walking halfway out the door I realized I was still in my robe. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear, i will have time to write more!

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys! thank you for reading this! i decided to write a fanfic for the first time.. so let's see how this guys. i have absolutely no idea where i'm taking this i'm kind of just writing on a whim. i decided to do a theme that matches a song for each title and chapter though.  
> let me know what you think!
> 
> xo


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